OK, seriously? I really was all prepared to let the situation drop. I mean, not everyone can win an award, you know? The reality is, it takes someone special to win an award, but it takes someone even MORE special to NOT get an award and keep on trucking. It's our American foundation - all guts and no glory makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.... or something like that. Actually, with the state of health care, probably not healthy. And with the state of the economy, certainly not wealthy. And as for wise... well, let's just circle back around to the subject at hand, shall we?
I thought things were getting better. The past few weeks passed by uneventfully enough - everytime I came into the store things were almost in the same place they were in when I left it. Maybe not exactly, but at least there were no major overhauls.
That is, until today. When I came in to find the stamp section and the art section magically transposed. WHAT MADNESS IS THIS???? I guess, come to think of it, it's been a while since PN (Perfect Nancy, so dubbed by Princess Cindyrella Rosemary herself) won an award. She must have been getting a little antsy. (Hee hee - get it? Antsy Nancy.... :) She knew I was getting back to my old comfortable self - in fact, according to the rumor mill, an award for me was eminent. Eminent!
So what does she do? Badda bing, badda boom - no stamps for you! Well, jeesh; OK, technically that stamps are still in the store, it's just now they're over here:
So let me just give everyone a little hint here - the very first person to mention how nice and organized the stamps look now is going on my list. You do not want to be on my list.
Second, look at those things - those green and blue things in the bottom of picture two. Do you see what they are? For those of you who have been reading, THOSE are the magic baskets of product overage that don't fit into Nancy's grand reorganization plan. Translation, that's the stuff leftover for Rosemary and I to deal with now that the walls are full of product. Ha ha - the laugh is on us once again!
So what happened to the awesomely cool art stuff that used to be here? It's now where the stamps used to be:
Once again, if you're thinking anything about how nice all this stuff looks now that it's moved over here - how much easier it will be to find... you really don't want to push me on this.
Just when is enough enough, I ask? Will we ever be left in peace? Poor Rosemary and I - you can just imagine how our day went! Everytime someone dared to ask us a question, we went to the wrong location again. I know our Wednesday regulars are wondering what exactly our problem is!
I was just recovering from the shock of it all, when I looked over and saw this:
No, I'm not referring to Rosemary's rocking hot bod... (Doesn't she look great? You can see she's got herself all ready in case Mr. Fifty Shades of UPS shows up today, right??) No, I'm referring to that "Happy Go Lucky" grin on her face - doesn't she look like she's just raring to go? It's like the Stepford wives all over again! And just as I suspect, Rosemary is actually... moving... product.... around.
My heart sunk - here I thought Rosemary was my cohort in all this - my one and only confidant... (well, except for that whole episode where she stabbed me in the back over an award - but I've just about forgiven her for that; I mean, I have to have somebody on my side, right?) But no! She's been turned to the other side! What to do, what to do?
In a panic, I calmly ask Rosemary to put the stamps down.
"What's the problem?" she asks. "I'm just doing what I get paid to do!"
"No, Rosemary," I practically beg. "No... you must resist!" I have to think. Think, think, think.... and then... eureka! There's only one sure fire way to save Rosemary from the Gung Ho virus....
Quickly I run next door to the bagel place and pick up a large coffee with cream and sugar to go. I slowly walk over by the stamp section and gently place the coffee on the desk. Then I hide quietly behind a rack and wait for my plan to take effect.
It takes just a few minutes for that heavenly aroma to lure Rosemary safely away from the stamp section and back to her chair where she belongs. Phew! Another near disaster averted... I gotta be honest, folks, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. Trying to maintain the integrity of our store - it's an awfully hard job to manage when you only work one day a week. (OK, so maybe it's not all about the store's integrity. Maybe it's really just about me winning an award... just play along, will you please? I feel like I'm almost there!!)
Love it! Whoever wrote this gets a journalism award!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWah - if only there WAS a journalism award!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL..... very nice article!
ReplyDelete