Well, it was anyway. Last Wednesday Michelle decided she had too much work to do to take a day off, so she came on in. Sigh... it set a whole new tone to the day. She was so excited, having just come back from CHA. She had all these ideas, and she was trying to make all these plans, and she wanted all this creative feedback, and by about one o'clock my head was swimming and I was desperate for a little downtime! This whole work thing can be exhausting. Maybe if I won an award every once in a while I wouldn't feel this way but.... well, that's all I have to say about that.
Anyway, around about the time my poor little ears had had enough, Rosemary got some kind of grand idea and decided that Michelle should make a tweet. Shortly thereafter, chaos ensued. Very soon I became aware of the fact that despite the fact that Rosemary and Michelle and I are all super creative scrapbooking goddesses, techno-geniuses we certainly are NOT.
This was a true case of twitter dee looking for back up from twitter dumb and twitter dumber.
First, Michelle asks what she should tweet about.
"I don't care what you tweet," answers Rosemary, "Just tweet something!"
Michelle thinks for a minute, and then she grandly announces that she has an idea. She starts tapping away, and then she says, "Oh, no. Wait a minute. I'm typing the tweet in the search box." We waited with baited breath until she finally figured out how to get the tweet sent. See how proud she is? And then....
"I've made a tweet!" she exclaimed. "Did you get it?" Rosemary and I looked at each other in panic. Rosemary retrieved her phone from her bra to look for the tweet. I, on the other hand, pulled out my phone and discovered it was dead (as it usually is), so I had to plug it in and wait for it to get a charge before I could look for the tweet.
"Well, where do you find it?" asks Rosemary.
"It should be right there on twitter, if you're following me" says Michelle.
"I don't see it" says Rosemary.
"Anyway, I can't figure out how to follow these twitter conversations," Rosemary says with disgust. "Twitter is so confusing." Too true.
"Well, did you get it?" Michelle says at me, and I'm starting to sweat a little because I don't want her to know I've let my phone die again, so I just kind of sit there trying to look like I'm doing something really important so I don't have time to answer her right away.
"Wait just a sec," says I, "and I'll check."
Meanwhile, Rosemary is flipping all through her phone looking for the mysterious tweet and she calls Nancy to see if she got the tweet. Nancy could not find it. Michelle then decides to call one of our favorite regulars, Eileen, to see if she got the tweet. Eileen doesn't know if she got the tweet - for some strange reason she wasn't waiting by her phone on the off chance that Michelle would decide to tweet that day. Now we've got Rosemary here in the store looking for her tweet, Nancy trying to find the tweet and poor Eileen at home looking for the tweet, and me over in my corner looking for a prayer. In the mean time, we're all arguing about whether or not Michelle tweeted correctly and where the tweet should show up. I guess at some point poor Eileen had had enough.
"Are you guys on something today?" she asks, though why she thought we were acting different than on any other day here is beyond me.
"Oh, wait," Eileen says suddenly... "Here it is - I have the tweet!" You would have thought she'd just discovered the Holy Grail or something, what with the enormous hush that suddenly descended over the room. It was like some sort of miracle had been discovered. Thank you, Eileen, where ever you may be today. We promise, next time we call you it will be for a truly worthy reason.
Finally I get enough power to turn my phone on. I punch the button on my phone for twitter, but alas, apparently it is password protected. What is the password to my twitter account? I have absolutely no idea - I'd signed up for twitter on another device and couldn't remember what it is.
"I can't get in my twitter right now," I say sheepishly. "I can't remember the password."
"Well, do you follow me?" Michelle asks.
"I'm pretty sure - I only signed up for it to follow the store anyway... but then when I got on there I was having trouble finding out how to follow people, so maybe not." OK, so of all the twitter twits, I'm probably the biggest one.
"Well, I don't see your name here," says Michelle.
"No, I probably wouldn't put my real name on there... I'm really security conscious." I tell her the screen name I probably would have used, and she finds me.
"Oh, look - you've been tweeting!" says Michelle.
"I have?" I ask. I have no knowledge of tweeting. I wouldn't know how to make a tweet if you paid me, and anyway, what do I have to tweet about?
"Oh, look," says Michelle with excitement, "It says you made $96.34 in one day - ask you how. Oh, and the next day you made $231, and oh, the day after that you made $305... wow, you've been pretty productive!" she says, sounding just a little proud.
"Holy cow!" says me, "I've been twitter-hacked!" That was a little disappointing, considering I've never really done much more than sign up for twitter - since then I've never actually been on it again. I was a little hurt, really. Where WAS all this money, anyway? I certainly never got paid. And, most offensive of all, someone apparently had an easier time getting into my twitter account than I did.
And that, my friends, brings us to the end of our little twitter journey. I went home and found out how to delete all my hacked tweets, although I never did find Michelle's tweet. I guess I'll figure that out next time. If you've ever wondered what it is that's going on in this store when you come in and we're all hysterically laughing, you'll know that we've probably been trying to do something that none of us actually knows how to do. Which occurs more often than you might imagine, actually.
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