A Little in Trouble in Paradise...

So it turn's out that one person's treasure really IS another person's trash... isn't that how the saying goes? But you must rejoice, happy reader, because I'm thinking that PN ("Perfect Nancy") may be on her way out of the inner circle, making the perfect opening for me! I'm SO excited, this being the beginning of my new award campaign and everything. So here's what happened.

I switched hours with Nancy a couple of weeks ago, so I was supposed to work Tuesday for her and she agreed to work the following Wednesday for me. Well, supposedly she "forgot" about the arrangement and showed up for work on Tuesday anyway, which brought about an interesting turn of events.

For the first time ever, Michelle and Nancy and I worked the day TOGETHER. Whew, I was nervous. I mean, it's bad enough to suffer the comparison when she's not here but when she IS here, what am I to do? Let's face it, there's no way I can keep up with that Tasmanian Devil.

(Are you wondering, as I did, whether she truly "forgot" that she wasn't supposed to come in, just so she could show me up? Haven't I told you she was diabolical??) Hhmmph.

Anyway, she decided that with an extra body in the store (that "extra" being me, of course.... double hhmmph) it would be the perfect day to tackle the back room.

So, here's a little known secret about our store. The backroom is kind of... well, to put it in kind terms, it's a little cluttered. I'm not sure exactly how cluttered it is, since it's been about two months since I've been able to actually go into the backroom without having an all out anxiety attack. Truly, I avoid it like the plague, which is saying something, because I'm something of a clutterbug myself.

Well, anyway, Nancy gets to work. She's so excited to clean the backroom that I soon begin to realize she really hasn't thought this part of the plan through. She begins to bring all the stuff in that backroom out into the light of day. It started small

And then it got bigger

And bigger

And bigger.

Now you may be wondering if all this mess was upsetting Michelle... no, of course you're not. You know Michelle is more than at home in natural disaster areas like this one - in fact, she's usually the creator of said disasters. I said nothing and just tried to stay out of the danger zone.

All seemed to be going smoothly until Nancy started doing something unbelievable... something, really, I don't think any one of us would have dared consider. She starting... throwing... stuff... away. Into the trash. The real trash. The do not pass go, do not collect $200 kind of trash. Just straight in. My eyebrows are still stuck in the raised position, but I said nothing. This was it - this was my chance. PN was going down.

It started small. Michelle was trying desperately to look cool, I know she was. First it was a little comment. "Oh, what's that?" she asked innocently as Nancy plunked something into the bin. "Junk" said Nancy. "Hee hee," said me, silently and all too myself like.

A few minutes later, Michelle asks, "Where's your donate box?" Nancy just kept on throwing. "I don't have one." Even I could see the little beads of sweat forming on Michelle's precariously arched brow. Nancy saw nothing, she just kept on tossing stuff out. "This is getting good," thought me.



And it was good - look here, you can see Michelle starting to lose it just a little. She's trying to convince Nancy that there's a use for that old disc she forgot she had. After a few more things find their way to the trash Michelle says, "I do have a box of stuff I can take home."

Oh, I wish you could have been there. It really started getting tricky then. Nancy would throw stuff away, and Michelle would distract her long enough to grab stuff back out of the trash and run. Look how proud she was to rescue this fifteen year old keyboard:

And then before I knew it, everything came to an explosive head. Nancy held up this little box:

And declared that those five things were the only things worth saving in the whole pile. I tell you, you could have heard a pin drop. Michelle plastered a plastic smile on her face and excused herself to go the back room. Before I knew it, there was a loud CRASH and then Michelle called for Nancy. OK, I'll admit, I was a little worried for Nancy. I mean, I want my award and everything, but I'm not really willing to kill for it or anything. Not really. I don't think.

Anyway, it turns out Michelle wasn't about to kill Nancy. Somehow, mysteriously, the desk in the backroom chose that moment to break. Which meant Nancy had to stop what she was doing and help Michelle. Which meant she couldn't finish throwing stuff away. Which meant, because it was close to the end of the workday, that she had to pack it all that stuff back up and throw it back in the back room. Do I think Michelle is above chopping her own desk in half to save some of her stuff from the trashcan? No. No I don't.

I think this is it - the beginning of the end. The "Bobbsey Twins" (as Rosemary calls them) are on the outs. Sweet Nancy is going to organize herself right out of my way. Hee hee hee... I am grinning madly - I can hardly wait. Soon, very soon, my award will come. (I'm even clapping my hands, because I believe! I believe!!)