June 29, 2012

Oops, They Did it Again.... (The Great Furniture Debacle Continued...)

Alternative titles for this post include "Basket Wars" (in Rosemary's honor) or "Caught Red Handed!" (Because I did - I caught them!!!) These are the continued ramblings of Tamara, who still can't find the new embossing folders.... (By the way, if you are Nancy's friend, please cover your eyes - reading this will most likely not make you happy... ;)

So, Sunday I come to teach my class and, literally, I'm not kidding you, Nancy is scooting backwards down the aisle with a paper rack in her hot little diabolical hands. My own hands were full and I had no camera, but I scream out, "Ha! Caught you in the act!!" Then I hear another scoot to my left and realize Michelle is also moving racks around, even though she's kind of hiding behind the aisles. She was trying to be all sneaky about it, but I'm hot on their trail now and I know what's what. Plus, her manical laughter kind of gives her away.

At first I was depressed to realize I had no camera and would not be able to reveal their deviousness in the act.... I mean, after all, I am embarking on my award campaign and I'll NEVER be able to win one if I can't prove that Nancy is doing everything in her power to make Rosemary and I look utterly depraved. But then I thought, "Hey, wait just a minute... I don't have to have the picture- the results are my proof!"

I know, I know - I hear you. You think I'm the one with the problem... perhaps you think my need for approval outweighs my goodwill towards the store.... or prehaps the year of working at the store without winning any awards, and then having Nancy come in and win ten awards a week might have pushed me over the edge. You couldn't be further from the truth - listen to what happened this week when Rosemary and I came in...

The very first customer to come on Wednesday asked Rosemary, "Where are the Wendy Vecchi Art Parts?" I could see the excitement on Rosemary's face - after all, she restocked the Wendy Vecchi section just last week - she KNEW where it was. Or she thought she did. She practically ran over to the section, pulling our surprised customer behind her, and just look at what she found in the Wendy Vecchi station:

The Lifestyle Crafts dies and Spellbinders look great here - but they don't look much look like Wendy Vecchi Art Parts, which is surely what our confused customer was thinking. Poor Rosemary - her face fell and she just looked SO defeated. She tried to drag me into helping to look for them, but I knew my place - safely in the corner, and that's where I was. After all, I had already been traumatized when I came in and found a great new book rack:

Of course, I love the book rack, but I knew what it meant... something must have happened to the old book rack - and I was right. Here the poor dear is - moved up to the register and full of Sizzex and Lifestyle Craft dies:

Oh, and looky there. The Wendy Vecchi Art Parts... see how this moving around thing works? Nothing is safe, absolutely nothing.

We did solve a great mystery from last week - neither Rosemary nor I could find the animal aisle last week. It was just.... gone. In it's place? Tools:

OK, OK -the tools look great. But, again, when you're looking for animal paper and you take someone to the tool aisle it's a little embarrassing. We know the customers are wondering how we could get cats and dogs confused with cutters and destressing tools.

The animal aisle mysteriously reappeared where the girl and boy sections used to be (don't ask me where it's been in the mean time...):

Now, I know there are times when we think other people's kids behave like animals, but really, when your innocent customer asks you where your little girl paper is and you take her to the zoo section, what kind of message does she think you're sending?

We did finally track down the girl and boy papers - they've been integrated into the Family section, here:

I think the worst, though, was when Rosemary and I saw our new table... I mean, really, look at this thing:

I mean, sure, it's so much cuter than the old two plastic tables we had pushed together, but you realize, don't you gentle reader, than half the size means half the space. There really is only room for two people to sit here - I wonder which two people that would be??? Let your imaginations go - I'm sure you'll realize what I'm thinking here.... ever so subtly Rosemary and I are being pushed right out of our places!! (Diabolical!)

So you must be wondering what I was talking about earlier, when I mentioned that Rosemary would like to entitle this post "The Basket Wars". Well, here's the truth about that... for months Michelle has been going on and on, (and I do mean on and ON), about how FAST Nancy is when she's working - how everything just gets done SO quickly. Hidden message in that statement, "Boy, you and Tamara sure work slowly compared to Nancy!" We're no fools, Rosemary and I.

Then Rosemary starts noticing that everytime she comes in there are baskets of product laying around. Baskets upon baskets upon baskets. And we begin to realize, Rosemary and I, that Nancy doesn't work nearly as quickly sa Michelle thinks. In truth, Nancy shoves the product she doesn't want to work with in baskets and then creates beautiful new sections, seemingly in mere moments of time. Then Rosemary and I try to figure out where to put the stuff in the baskets. (Did I mention the word "diabolical"?)

Of course, no one seems to know anything about these baskets. "Where did this come from?" we would ask. No one would say anything. But then we'd go to hang the stuff up where it used to be and low and behold, it doesn't go there anymore.

Do you see it? Do you see the next part of Nancy's diabolical plan to keep Rosemary and I from winning awards? Once again, we look a little idiotic when we go to hang something up and it doesn't go where we're standing. Additionally, since these magical baskets are never on anyone's to do lists, when we spend time putting them away it's very difficult to account for our time. Michelle would ask, "Well, did you get (insert project here) done?" No, we didn't. We try to explain, but even we can't remember where we've been that day because we've just been wandering about aimlessly trying to figure out where we're supposed to be. Here is what she thinks Rosemary and I do all day:

OK, so maybe we got caught that one time, but seriously? It's really hard spending all day on your feet looking for things, especially when you go to places they used to be but aren't. It's very tiring, really.

Well, anyway, I guess Rosemary reached her breaking point this morning. I caught her, basket in hand:

Of course, I can't say for sure, but I'm fairly certain that if I hadn't intervened that stuff would be tossed out in the parking lot as we speak. Not to worry - I saved it. But if you ever come in and see that the basket rack looks like this:

instead of this:

then you'll know what happened, and you'll know to go back out to the parking lot to retrieve a basket!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, reader. Rosemary and I refuse to give up - we will expose each and every diabolical move that occurs in this store, and one day, one day I say, we WILL win our awards!! (PS - Even if Rosemary doesn't win one, can I? Please?? Help me out, here...)

(PPS (or is that PSS - I never can remember) - A note to Nancy's friends... fear not - no part of Nancy has been harmed in the creation of this blogpost. I mean, she's been carrying her pocket knife around for weeks, so what can we do, really? And, if you're still upset, I did warn not to read it, didn't I?)


Joyce's Journey said...

Tamara - you know I've known you for many years now and we have a history and I fondly remember the wonderful Scrapbooking 101 class I took from Rosemary years and years ago so you know I love you both and am loyal to you both, but.... you could've gotten a lot of award-winning stuff done in the time it took you to write and photograph this blog post . . . just saying. I mean you don't see fancy pants Nancy taking time away from working to write blog posts, do you? But hey, I'd rather read your blog posts than see you try to outshine Nancy.

Tamara said...

Joyce- et tu, brute? I can't believe it! I felt sure you would understand. Yes, we've known each other many years, and we've known the multiple-award-winning Nancy for what - two minutes??? How am I ever going to get my award-campaign off the ground if I can't count on the support of my friends? I have to say, I'm making a list, and you're going to have to go on the "out" side. I know, it's awful, but it just can't be helped. Signed, Awardless Tam

Jean said...

I am Nancy's friend, the one that gets a bit shocked at the thought that you could think "our perfect Nancy" could be diabolical! BUT!! I must say this, YOU DESERVE A GREAT BIG AWARD FOR THE MOST ENTERTAINING STORE BLOG ON THE INTERNET!" I think I will make one up for you! Nancy says that I don't need to worry about her in the least, that's just how wonderful she is, so I read your post with laughter, not believing a word of it! ;-)