December 23, 2012

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Other titles in consideration for this post are: Perfect Nancy is a Perfect Liar!!!

I gotta tell you, folks, my time is coming near.  I can really feel it this time - my award is IMMINENT!  Nancy really made a name for herself with our most recent guest teacher - and that name is LIAR!!!

It all started during Nathalie Kalbach's visit - the class was having an amazing time learning fun new techniques from Nathalie:

See how everyone's paying such close attention?  Love that...

Anyway, Nathalie wanted to demonstrate a new technique and she asked Nancy what Michelle's favorite colors are.  Nancy answers just as sweet as you please, "blue and green" and continues on to another part of the store.  Meanwhile, Michelle, who happened to be standing there, got a confused look on her face.  In fact, blue and green aren't Michelle's favorite colors at all - Michelle's actually favorite colors are coral and brown.  Look:

Blue and green:

Coral and brown:

Gee, they're not really alike at all, are they?  Hee hee hee... I'm sure Michelle was really wondering where Nancy got blue and green from.  The seed was planted - Michelle was really beginning to wonder about her.... she was beginning to wonder if her star employee might, in fact, be... a liar.

So then next thing that happened really sealed the deal.  Nancy's sitting in class with a few of our customers when the conversation, strangely enough, turns to where Nancy is from.  (I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the accent... I'm sure... )  Anyway, someone pipes up and said that Nancy was from Maine.  Nancy shoots back, "No, I'm not... I'm from New Hampshire."  New Hampshire.  New Hampshire?  In her dreams, New Hampshire! 

Nancy is from Massachusetts.  Not New Hampshire.  She's never lived in New Hampshire.  I'm not quite sure she's even driven through New Hampshire, but there it was, a bald faced lie thrashing around on the table like a wet fish, floundering around in breathless misery. The worst thing was, Nancy was COMPLETELY serious.  It took her a minute to remember the actual truth for herself, that's how convincing the lie was.  Perhaps she thought if she just went with it no one would call her on it, but there were too many people there that knew the truth... there she was - busted. 

Michelle was shocked, simply shocked, I tell you.  She knows Nancy is from Massachusetts, Rosemary knows Nancy is from Massachusetts, Nathalie knows Nancy is from Massachusetts.  Pretty much anyone who's ever heard Nancy attempt to make an "r" sound knows she from Massachusetts.  Everyone, that is, except Nancy.  Look, here's a  map:

See, New Hampshire.... Massachusetts.... not the same thing at all, really.  Poor Nancy the liar.  It made such a poor impression on Nathalie... I mean, think of it.  Nathalie comes all the way from Germany... which is in Europe.  Land of all those little countries.  I'm sure as confusing as Europe is for us, most European's know where they're from.  And here she comes to America, and we American's can't even remember the name of the state we're from?  She must have really thought Nancy was something else.

By now, you're probably really revising your opinion of Nancy.  Of course, I'm not - I've seen her for her true colors all along.  But I can see how she might have fooled a lot of you.  As further proof, the lying continued even after Nathalie left the store - Nancy sent her a message to thank her for all the classes.  Nathalie tweeted her back, reminding Nancy that she only had the opportunity to take one of Nathalie's classes... so what was the point in thanking her for "all" the classes?  I mean, really? 

Michelle has got to start seeing this destructive behavior for what it is - a misguided attempt to ingratiate herself with all the guest teachers.  I'm not sure for what purpose yet... the mystery remains.  But, be warned... be careful what you hear from Nancy!  There's a pretty good chance that whatever she says will be a complete fabrication!!! 

And keep your fingers crossed for me - I'm sure my award is coming (And, I'm thinking, it will definitely involve some coral and brown!!!)

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