The Great Furniture Debacle

(An essay on the wild and wonderful happenings at ESS as described by Tamara.)

Alternate titles for this post include

"The Real Reason Nancy is a Blockhead" (my personal favorite)

or Rosemary's pick
"How to Drive Rosemary CRAZY in Three Easy Steps".

It's been going on for a while now. It's a conspiracy, I'm sure.

Nancy is SO determined that no one should win an award but her - she really is diabolical. She is patient and very, very cunning, our Nancy.

It started with a few pieces of furniture that she brought in to add to "the vintage, funky charm of our store", but that was just a ruse. She say's there is a plan, but I've discovered the plan - there is no plan. This is her way of keeping Rosemary and I off balance so that we cannot win awards.

You see, every week we have fairly set schedules. I only work Wednesdays, and Rosemary is off Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays. Every Wednesday Rosemary and I come in after having had several days off and we work together. You may think this is unimportant, but no - keep paying attention. This is crucial to the plan, because what happens is we come in to the store together and discover that absolutely nothing is where is was when we left last week. Nothing.

Why, do you wonder, would Nancy move everything around while we are off? Well, I have discovered the answer. Rosemary and I have worked here for a while - well, Rosemary for quite a long while and me a much shorter, more succinct while.

The point is, those of you who know us know that we've been here a while, which is why you must be so confused when you come in and ask, "Where is the animal paper?" and I lead you to an empty aisle and say something witty like, "Well, here is where it was last time I looked." Yes, I too can see that it is not here now. I'm am equally sure it is here somewhere, I just have no idea where. I will keep looking for it and will be sure to let you know if I turn anything up. I can hear you thinking to yourself, "That girl has been here a while now - doesn't she know where the animal paper is?" No. No I don't. You give up on me, realizing that I'm clearly a few cards short of a deck.

You turn to Rosemary. You say, "Last time I was here you had this really awesome Military themed scrapbook album - can you help me find it?" While I hide in the corner, praying you won't ask ME anymore questions, I hear Rosemary lead you to the place where the albums used to be and mutter something equally witty like, "Maybe I walked down the wrong aisle."

And wait - here is the most magical part of the plan. Since Rosemary and I are working together on Wednesdays that means that both Michelle and Nancy are off. Which means, of course, that the people who moved everything around in the first place aren't here to help us find anything.

Are you getting the picture yet?
At this rate, Rosemary and I will NEVER win any awards.
And I'm sure that's what Nancy has had planned all along.
Like I said, DIABOLICAL.

Here is pictorial proof of exactly what I'm talking about.... she took all the albums and moved them here:



From here:

Which, as you can see, is now full of amazing 7 Gypsies stuff (which, while amazing, is NOT at all like a scrapbook album when you're looking for one).

The 7 Gypsies stuff used to be here:

Which, as you can see, is now an expansion of our awesome Graphic 45 section here:





You see it, don't you?

Clearly you can see how Nancy has plotted and planned her great coup, right?

What's that? OK, OK, I hear you.

The new sections look great... yada, yada, yada.

Now there's 12 more feet of vintage loveliness for you to peruse.... whatever!

It's a plot, I tell you.

I have absolutely no idea what horrors are in store for us next week, but you can be SURE I'll keep you posted - now that I know the truth I am on the case.

(Really, I'm just not going to stop until I win an award. An awesomely amazing, more than 10 second award. That's all I have to say about that.)